Author Archives: thelesbiannextdoor
It’s Inevitable
As most of you know, I work on a college campus. I am also the advisor to the Gay/Straight alliance on campus, so I usually send out emails about the groups’ activities and invite people to the meetings. Every couple of years there is one or two jackasses that would rather assault me with an anti-gay tirade than just delete the damn emails. I mean, I always add a subject line with it, so they don’t even need to open it! I started getting these back in 2006. Here are the actual emails I was sent after I sent one out about the first meeting of the year:
“I respect other people’s right to be gay. I have many gay friends and even a relative, but I am strait. I think that you guys take it too far with pushing homosexuality on the campus. It gets to the point where I am starting to be irritated by people because of it. Respect my right top be strait and I will respect yours to be gay. No more e-mails please. I think it’s great what you are trying to do, but it’s becoming too much for me. Thank you”
I wrote him back and told him to please just delete my emails, and that I couldn’t take him off the email listserv because it went to all students, and he needed to be able to receive important emails from other people that used it too. He responded with:
“I have repeatedly asked to not recieve e-mail notices for the ******* club. I have asked nicely, I have explained my reasons, but my patience is at an end. I know how the e-mail notices work and INO MORE SEXUALLY BASED E-MAILS EVER. I AM STRAIT AND YOU ARE NOT RESPECTING MY RIGHTS TO NOT BE ADVERTISED TO. I WILL CONSIDER FURTHER E-MAILS HARASSMENT AND GO STRAIT TO THE TOP WITH MY COMPLAINT. YOU ARE PROMOTING HOMOSEXUALITY AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT BE ADVERTISED TO. THIS HAD BETTER BE THE LAST TIME. NO MORE E-MAILS…EVER”
Well that escalated quickly! Simmer down! I promptly forwarded the emails to my bosses and my IT Department. Everyone supported my decision to not try and take him off the list, and that he probably was in most need of seeing those emails due to his ignorant responses. I mean c’mon! He couldn’t even spell straight correctly! I think I again reiterated that he should simply delete my emails. The last email I got from him was this:
“I am not taking this personally and I do not appreciate the way that I have been treated by those respoinsible for the e-mail process. I do not accept this homosexual solicitation through e-mail and will take further action.”
Oooooo I’m scared! Apparently “taking further action” meant that he would complain a little more, and then eventually leave the school (or graduate – I can’t remember). As I said, that was back in 2006 (and yes, I do have emails saved from almost a decade ago – and longer – don’t judge me! 😉 ) I’m sure there were more like this over the years, but this was the most memorable one. The one I got this year (just last week), was way toned down from those emails 8 years ago. It simply said:
“Please UNSUBSCRIBE me from your email list.”
Well alrighty then. Again, I can’t take you off the list, sorry! You should exercise your right to use your index finger to click the delete button with your mouse. You do not have to read it, but you have to understand that there are people out there – the shy kid who doesn’t know anyone else gay, the activist who wants to create a change, the girl who’s still in the closet due to her parent’s religion – those people, they need to hear that we are here for them. I refuse to be silent because you are not comfortable enough with your own sexuality to ignore an email that clearly doesn’t pertain to you.
Both of these students (and all others I have heard from) are males. I have not once gotten an adverse response from one single female. Not in the entire 13 years I have worked here. Huh. What does that say to you? To me it says these men felt threatened that gay people even exist because in some way it threatened their own sexuality. I’m not a guy, so I don’t know for sure. If there are any males out there reading – what do you think of it?
Liebster Award
Hello everyone! I was nominated for the Liebster Award by Nonsense and Shenanigans. Thank you Nonsense! 🙂 I may or may not have gotten this award before a long time ago. I can’t remember, so I’m just going to accept wholeheartedly 🙂
The “rules”:
1. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them.
2. Display the award logo on your page (in a post or a widget) and write your own acceptance post, like this one, including the “rules” (these or your own).
3. Answer 10 questions provided to you by the person who nominated you.
4. Add your own 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
5. Nominate 7 more bloggers (I only did 6) for the award, link to them, and notify them.
So now, on to the 10 questions she asked:
1. If you could change one thing about your country, what would it be?
Okay, I’m going to cheat a little here and write about the two things I would change. First, the obvious: I would make everyone equal in every sense of the word. Equal rights, equal pay, equal opportunity, etc. If you are a human, you qualify! It doesn’t matter your sexual orientation, your gender, your socio-economic status, your religion, etc. Everyone is EQUAL. Plain and simple.
The one thing I would change about my country is how violent it can be. From a few of my posts, you can tell I am anti-gun and anti violence. Why can’t we all just get along? All I am saying, is give peace a chance 🙂 I wish we could be out of all wars, here and abroad.
2. What is one thing about your country that makes you unbelievably proud?
I am very proud to be an American. I think our country is one of the greatest countries in the world. I’m proud that we are making big strides towards equal rights, but we have a long way to go to measure up to some other countries. We are trying though, and I do believe we will get there!
3. Do you remember your dreams? If so, what is the last dream you had that affected you?
Most of the time, yes.The last dream that affected me I had a few nights ago. I dreamed that I lost a tooth in my sleep and swallowed it. Then, when I went to tell my mother and ask if I should be freaked out that my teeth were falling out, she didn’t care, nor answer me. I take this to mean that my subconscious thinks my mother doesn’t care about me…I have to mostly agree with that subconscious. That’s a story for another time, though 🙂 (BTW, I have excellent teeth, in case you were wondering. The dentist is always impressed when I go for my cleaning 😉 )
4. If a blogging genie came to you and offered you three blogging-related wishes, what would you wish?
Hmmm…this is a hard one. I’ve sort of fallen off of the blogging wagon lately. I guess it would be (in no particular order):
1) To be Freshly Pressed (who wouldn’t want this)
2) To be discovered and offered a book deal for my writing 😉
3) To somehow make my entire income from blogging alone
5. If you had the opportunity to explore undiscovered areas of the earth, OR to explore undiscovered areas of outer-space, which would you choose?
Neither. I am a scardy cat! But if there were no fear, I think I would say Earth.
6. Why did you start blogging?
I started blogging out of boredom. The summers where I work can be VERY quiet and slow. This one hasn’t been as much, but it’s had it’s slow moments. But also, I LOVE to write, and have been writing short and long stories since I was 5. Blogging seemed like the coolest thing – you write, and people actually read it!Sometimes they even comment!
7. What is your one, ultimate, life-long dream?
To publish a best selling lesbian fiction novel.
I used to also want to be a famous actress. I love acting, but I couldn’t deal with the life in the public eye aspect. My theory is that fame seems great from far away. Up close it’s just a mess.
8. If you had to give up your other achievements to accomplish that dream, would you?
I guess that would depend on what you would consider and “achievement” 🙂
9. Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens?
Yes and yes! Ghosts or spirits are definitely real. I’ve felt their presence before. I also like to think there is more after this life, but don’t believe in heaven and hell.
Aliens have got to be real. The universe is so vast, there is no way we could be the only intelligent creatures in it.
10. What religion are you most intrigued by? (It doesn’t have to be your religion, you don’t have to be religious — just one that interests you, in good ways or bad.)
I’ve had bad experiences with organized religion, and therefore am not religious.
I’m always fascinated by fanatical so-called Christians. One of my favorite movies is Jesus Camp. If you haven’t seen it, you should check it out. It will make you scream at the TV and shock you to your core. It amazes me how people like that think – how they can hate so vehemently and in the next breath try to disguise that hate as love. It’s like seeing a car crash. It’s gruesome, but you can’t peel your eyes away.
Questions for my nominees:
1) What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you become it?
2) If you could have lunch with any famous living person, who would it be and why?
3) What is your favorite current TV show?
4) Do you have a nickname? If so, do you like it?
5) Describe one moment in your life that encapsulates the word Bliss.
6) If you had only one wish, what would you wish for and why?
7) What are some qualities about yourself that you love?
8) Do you (or did you) want children? Why or why not?
9) What is one memory from childhood that makes you nostalgic for a simpler time?
10) If you had the power to switch places with someone, would you do it? Why or why not?
I nominate:
New Space, Fresh Start
Crazy Beautiful Chronicles
Religion: Optional
El Guapo
Solo Mama
and Little Monster(s) and Mommies
When did this happen?
When did we become a nation focused on gunning each other down for no reason? When did we decide it was okay for every Joe Schmoe to be able to walk around with a gun on a daily basis? What is the point of that? Why in the world would someone have to carry a gun with them at all times (outside of law enforcement)? It doesn’t make any sense to me. I like to think that the world has mostly peaceful, caring people in it. I wish we could see that side more.
I woke up this morning to the news about the shooting on the college campus in Seattle. Yet another college shooting. Yet another death. I work on a college campus. I cannot fathom what it would be like to have a shooter here – and I don’t want to -but it seems like I should imagine it. This gun-nut nonsense that’s being going on here in the US the past few years has risen to a fever pitch. How can we feel safe when it seems like we hear of another shooting every week?
To people who believe it is their right to carry a gun (semi-automatic or whatever they want) “for protection”, let me ask you this – just who are you “protecting” yourself from? Who were all the shooters in all of these cases protecting themselves from? All of the these men took their guns into SCHOOLS. Where no one else was armed. No one was trying to harm them!
The only people we all need protecting from is all the people who want to carry for protection. Look, if guns were not allowed in the public, then we wouldn’t have to worry about getting shot while doing something as normal as going to work. It’s as simple as that! Have your fucking hunting guns. I don’t care. Knock yourselves out! Just don’t use those guns to kill other humans. Keep them LOCKED in your home until you go out to hunt. Then spend all day in your tree stand, come home empty and LOCK it away again.
What have we come to? Why are we all of a sudden killing each other for sport? It makes absolutely no sense!
The argument is about the second amendment. Listen, the right to bear arms was written into the constitution at a time when we were fighting for our country’s freedom. It was to protect what would now be the equivalent of our National Guard’s rights. It was about protecting the country. Why are we now using that right to fight each other? Why do normal, everyday people need a oozie in their home?
I feel like we are at a point now where we’re on a locomotive barreling down the track toward a brick wall. There are states where you can walk into a restaurant, store, library, where ever, with a gun with you. I’m pretty sure restaurants get their food shipped to them – there are no animals to kill in there. Same with a store. Leave your gun at home. And a library? Well, last time I checked, a book can’t kill you (unless it’s 50 Shades of Grey…then you might die of shaking your head too hard at the lack of grammar, poor and boring plot choices, or just the overall ickiness of the story). So why bring guns there? Oh, because you CAN? Why that there’s a smart reason Billy Bob!
I am so sick of right-wing gun nuts (including my own uncle) screaming and crying when the government wants to put down stricter gun laws. IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT WE WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR GOD DAMNED GUNS!!!!!!!!!!! IT MEANS WE DON’T WANT YOU TO TAKE THOSE GUNS INTO PUBLIC PLACES AND KILL PEOPLE WITH THEM! WE ALSO DON’T WANT THE MENTALLY ILL TO HAVE EASY ACCESS TO THEM! DO YOU GET IT NOW, YOU IMBECILES???!!!
I wish guns never existed. How many deaths would have been prevented if that were the case? Okay, I’m not crazy. I don’t think that there will ever be a way to get rid of all guns, but I also think about how many people are now in jail for shooting someone in the heat of the moment. Yes, there are other things you can use as weapons to kill someone. How many of them are as capable of killing someone as easily as the quick squeeze of a trigger? Can you imagine how many people have killed someone they loved and now have to rot in jail, all because they made the split second decision to grab that ever present gun and shoot? What if those guns weren’t there? What if they were harder to come by? What if they were locked away and harder to get to quickly?
Why are we the only civilized country with this problem? When did we become a country of such hate toward each other? I don’t hate the conservative gun-nuts, I just think they are very misinformed. All they worry about is THEIR guns, not about all the damage the lackadaisical gun laws are causing by letting guns get into the hands of mentally unstable people. I know, I know, some will still get their hands on guns, even with better laws. But how many of them won’t? 25%? 50%?
I can’t help but think of Oscar Schindler, and the famous quote at the end of Schindler’s List: “whoever saves one life, saves the world entire”. Oscar stood up to people who felt like they had the power to determine who lived and who died. No one should have that power. Why can’t we come up with an organization that could be stronger than the NRA and become the Oscar Schindlers of our time?
Maybe stricter laws won’t prevent all shootings, but if we could prevent one. Just one. Now that would be a start.
* If you disagree with me, please let me know in the comments. I love a healthy debate!
Coming out again and again
I often tell stories on here that relate to people being confused about who D and I are to each other when we are out and about. When people see us, they see two feminine women together all the time, and that makes them wonder what’s up. I, for one, would never ask random strangers who they are to each other, but I get it. It’s our lot in life to have to come out over and over again.
About 3 weeks ago, D and I had a date day and we did something we have rarely ever do: went shopping for an entire day! Why is this rare? Because we have both become very frugal and don’t spend a lot of money on ourselves. We decided we wanted to throw caution to the wind and go for it! (I know what you’re thinking – we are ANIMALS 🙂 Grrr, baby 🙂 )
We started out at a store that sells perfume, as I was looking for a new scent to wear. (The store rhymes with Wrath and Roddy Twerks). We walked in and were greeted by the nice lady (probably in her sixties), and I explained that my usual scent was discontinued years ago and that the only place I can find it is on E*Bay, and it’s really expensive. She asked me what it was and when I told her, directed me to a new scent. I sprayed some on my wrist and really liked it. Then I kept asking D what she thought of it, and she kept smelling it too. The following ensued:
Me: (to D) Do you like it?
D: Yes, but do you?
Lady: Are you two sisters?
At that point both D and I answered in unison, but said different things. I said “We’re married,” and D, for some reason, said “We’re wives.” (Later when we were reminiscing about this, she told me that’s what she said and I thought it was funny. She’s so cute 🙂 )
Lady: face drops, stumbles a bit. You look so much alike!
Me: We’re told that all the time. (pointing to D) She has good taste.
We laughed it off and joked with the lady some more. I made my purchases and we left the store to continue shopping. We walked by again later on our way to the shoe store, and the lady was out front. She yelled to me: “You smell so good! Who sold you that scent?”
I laughed and said “Thank you! You did!”
We thought it was cute that she was joking with us still. You never can tell how people will react when you tell them!
Protected: The Saturday Sweater
Throwback Thursday! This was originally posted on November 15, 2012. Enjoy!
I have a hideous sweater that I actually wore in public before I realized how hideous it was. (To be fair, my wife never pointed out the fact that it was hideous until I had already worn it out for over a year.) It’s striped. For some reason I always think I will look good in striped shirts – but most of the time I do not. In fact, I had one short sleeved striped shirt that my wife affectionately came to call my “kindergarten shirt”, as I apparently looked like a kindergartener in it. I guess there are worse things to look like, but when I cleaned the closet a month ago, I ended up throwing it away.
Back to the point – I live in the northern US, so there is a need for one to own lots of sweaters. I do, and some of them are…
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The Lesbian Next Door 