I Never Said I Love You
Hello everyone! I am alive! This semester has been very hectic, because I took a class. I know, what was I thinking? It was a writing class, and it’s technically not over yet. I gave my final presentation yesterday and handed in my paper, so I am completely done. I just have to sit through 2 more classes. Phew! It was a fun class, but I thought it would focus more on creative writing than it did. I’m glad I took it, but I will not be taking another one for a loooonnnggg time, if ever.
So now I can go back to what I love to do – blog, and continue writing my novel. This blog isn’t about all of that though, this is about young love.
My nephew J (who has Aspergers) has had a string of girlfriends over the last few years, and they always start saying I love you right away. Like, within a week! I’ve noticed my sister does the same thing, and she’s 42!
When I was a teenager (after age 13 or so) and even young adult, I never, ever said I love you to anyone I was dating. Granted, I was dating boys, so maybe that is why I never said it. I dated this one boy Shawn on and off for almost 4 years and he would say it to me all.the.time. But I never said it back. I couldn’t because I didn’t feel it. I felt bad about not saying it back, but I just could not do it. Thankfully me not being able to say it held the sex at bay. I told him I couldn’t have sex with him until I felt like I truly loved him. That’s one of the main reasons we were on again/off again, I mean, he was a teenage boy and his girlfriend wouldn’t sleep with him! When I was a sophomore in college, I finally said it to him, but I didn’t really feel it. We didn’t last much longer than that.
The only people I would say I love you to were my best friends at the time – all girls, and all people I had major crushes on – but they took it as “I love you like a friend”.
Love is such a strong word. I don’t use it lightly. In fact, I have a co-worker that says , “I love you, M!” almost every day, and I will not say I love you back. I mean, I like her, but I don’t love her. That word is reserved for my wife. What good is a word if you say it to everyone? It should have weight to it, no?
I wonder if I am weird in thinking this way…
I just read this back to myself and it is a very crappy blog entry, but I guess I have to start somewhere!