On my mind right now…

I have been super busy as per usual, and have not been able to get myself over here to blog. BAD TLND! 😉 Something happened this morning that has stuck with me all day and I can’t shake it out of my head, so what better thing to do than blog about it? 🙂

It’s really hard being a woman some days. I work in an office setting, and in my area there are my three bosses and me. We live in perfect harmony with no issues. Down the hall is an office of cubicles of women, and they don’t always get along. One thing they can always be counted on to agree on though is that everyone should be on a diet or be trying to lose weight, no matter what you look like. This is not an office of overly hefty females. All but two are average heights and weights. It irks me when I hear them talking about it and when they have competitions to lose weight.

There is a woman who works on the second floor who used to be very large. Over the last several years she has dropped a ton of weight and now probably weighs close to 90 lbs. She’s 5 foot tall. I mean, she has no fat on her whatsoever! She has some muscle and she is always working out. Good for her, right? Well, this morning she was talking to one of the women down the hall (one who could lose a little weight and has been trying to) and she said “I’m so mad! T lost 5 lbs and I gained 2!” Now just wait a minute here. T is trying to lose weight to be healthier and has lost 28 lbs so far and has a way to go. You, and your tiny, 90lb ass are gonna come in here and tell her you’re mad that she LOST WEIGHT she has been trying to lose and you gained weight that probably would be good for you to gain??? So instead of all the women telling the 90lb woman that she’s nuts, they all start asking her what she’s been doing for exercise so they can figure out why she gained weight!!!!!! They started talking about what she could do different, etc., and it made ME SO MAD!!! T even said “Yeah, we should all just start calling her Lardass.” (She was joking, of course).

I couldn’t take it, I had to get out of there. I have a hard time accepting my body the way it is, and giving myself praise over accomplishments. I have lost 11 FREAKING POUNDS! That is so awesome! I only have about 8 more before I hit my goal. I look amazing! I am building muscle! I have great energy and stamina! I have a great percentage of body fat, and I am at a good place for my height. So why can’t I feel happy about that? Why can’t I feel in shape -which I am?!

Why? Because of women like the ones who work down the hall. Because of magazines and movies and commercials and TV shows. Because you can’t be a woman in the world without feeling horrible about yourself.

I’m taking this as a sign to turn this around in my head. I am beautiful. If even the tiniest of women has a problem with her body, it’s gotten worse than I thought. From now on, I am going to start saying that to myself, instead of “you could stand to lose that little bit of fat”.

I am challenging all of you, my dear readers – big, small, male, female, whatever you are – I am challenging you to love yourself. Love yourself for exactly who you are at this moment. Don’t look in the mirror and pick out all the things you want to change. Instead, look in the mirror and pick out all the things that are wonderful about you. You are beautiful, no matter what you weigh. You are worth it.

And one more thing – throw out that scale. It doesn’t dictate your worth.

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About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 40 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 22 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on October 31, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. crazybeautifulchronicles

    Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to read to today. I could have written this about my own office!

  2. You’re such a good person, M!!! 🙂 Glad you wrote about it!

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