Hetero Privilege

D and I take a walk every night after supper. We usually take the same route around our town, and wave to a few people we know along the way. We love walking, and we love saying hi to these people, including a great couple that lives at the end of our block. They are both professors, and the woman works at my college. We stop and talk to them and say hi to their dog. The husband and I always joke about our wives. They are not the problem. Neither are any of the other several heterosexual people we meet and interact with on a day to day basis. I am in no way being discriminatory against straight people. I love straight people! In fact, they are the people I interact most with on a day to day basis (duh! they’re the majority). I say all of this before I go onto my next point because I don’t want anyone to think I don’t like straight people.

The thing I hate? The thing that makes my blood boil? When a (seemingly) straight couple walks towards us on the sidewalk and do not move over! We constantly move over for other couples walking, but we get the impression that because we are not holding hands, people don’t realize we are together and think we are just friends, so of course the “real” couple should get the whole damn sidewalk! I can’t count how many times I have moved over for a couple, and D has gotten ticked about it. She thinks I should just keep walking toward them until they move over, but I just can’t do it. I feel rude if I do. Some of it is just common courtesy – you see two people walking together and you move over a bit or walk single-file so you can pass comfortably. But more and more we see people holding hands walking together, and taking up the whole damn sidewalk no matter who else is trying to walk on it! I want to walk next to my wife, not in front of her! It would be one thing of we both (us and the other couples) moved over, but it’s quite another when only we do it. It seems unfair. It seems like a hetero privilege to me. Am I overreacting? UGH! Sometimes I wish I could just hold D’s hand walking up the street and see if there is a different reaction. That’s not going to happen anytime soon – so I will just have to keep dreaming.

In other news, I am working on a short lesbian (erotic πŸ˜‰ ) story. Anyone interested in reading it? I will put it up password protected if I get enough interest.


About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 41 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 23 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on August 14, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. crazybeautifulchronicles

    Agreed! So annoying.

  2. See, myself and my girl walk hand in hand… we are very fortunate that we live in an area where we can, and realise that this isn’t the same everywhere, but hetero’s sure shouldn’t have the right! In other news, the story sounds good

    • πŸ™‚ You are lucky! It’s not that we couldn’t hold hands, D is just not comfortable with it. Not just because we are gay, but because she hates PDA in general (unless she’s had some whiskey πŸ˜‰ )

  3. I’m a hand holder. Constantly. Whether people like it or not!
    And share the story!!!

  4. Start holding hands when the rude sidewalk hoggers approach, so THEY can be the ones to move!

    Also, I’d definitely be interested in the story you’re writing! Password, please? πŸ˜‰

  5. I’m not sure how much this relates to people being heterosexual and how much it relates to people just being idiots. I run on a path that is barely wide enough for two people side by side, and the vast majority of the time, when I run towards a couple, they won’t make any effort to move out of my way, leaving me to run on the grass (or barrel forward until they’re forced to move). I think there are just some people who are lacking basic manners.

  6. I guess it’s just easier to “split up” people who aren’t physically latched together. Nutella and I hold hands often and haven’t really dealt with this.

    • You are very lucky that you can hold hands. I wish we could! D won’t because she hates PDA of any type (unless she’s had some whiskey! πŸ˜‰ )

      I guess I should have named this post “Couples privilege” since I am sure gay people would do it too if they were holding hands – but I’m assuming that even though you do, you are still courteous enough to move over for other people. If they would just move over, I would feel much better about it! Maybe someday D will get comfortable with holding my hand in public, but I feel like it will be a long time until that happens!

  7. Yes, we are courteous! πŸ™‚ I hope D comes around. I am still much more on “high alert” when we hold hands, but I’ll be damned if society is going to make me hide from doing so.

  8. I take some amount of perverse pleasure in shoulder-checking people who are so oblivious/self-centered as to not make any accommodations for an approaching human going the other direction. Usually what happens is they apologize to me – which is 100 percent fair. Every once in a while though, I’ll get a super-angry person who’ll yell at me or follow me for a while, so this method is definitely not for the faint of heart.

  9. I agree! That is so annoying. I’m interested too! πŸ˜‰

  10. Thelesbiannextdoorswife

    Well Darling in my defense I did not grow up watching my parents be affectionate towards each other. They love each other and were gentle to each other but not physically affectionate in public. I have never heard the words β€œI love you” from my parents but I know that they do love me because they show me in other ways. However, I do say that to you all day long! πŸ˜‰ I know that my parents would do anything for me at any time, just as I would do for you. So, part of this is just who I am and how I was raised.

    PDA is not for everyone, and it is something that I have come to realize. I have come a long way in 9 Β½ years, and it is all about give and take. Whether someone notices we are a couple or not does not matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters most is that I am; kind, gentle, respectful, faithful and loyal to you. Those are the things that matter most in a relationship.

    Maybe someday I will feel brave and comfortable enough to hold your hand in public, but again it is just not my thing. If I am feeling uncomfortable and worried about my surroundings, I am not sure that I would be enjoying a β€œmoment” with you in public. It would be one thing to have a good support system around us, however that does not exist where we live. I do not like attention, I prefer to be the one unnoticed.

    To me it doesn’t matter if the world knows I love you, what matters is that you know that I love you; and I do love with all my being!! xoxoxo

    • I know all of this honey, and I love you very much! You are everything that I want and need. Maybe some day that wish will come true for me, but in the meantime, I will continue to be by your side loving you with all my heart!

  11. Holy, comments! Cool! i totally agree with you. It sucks the hetero privilege. And I think that holding hands as they approach is a great idea! Go get ’em! Oh, and yeah, the password and the post… I vote yes!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: