Well That Was Interesting

I just went out for my lunch break and I was reading my Kindle on a bench outside of the library. All of the students are back on campus and one in particular was on the phone on a bench across the way from me. This is what I heard:

“Hi mom. Yeah, it’s really scary. I mean his down there, you know, his junk is all swollen and red! I mean it’s huge! And he’s not worried about it!” Then, after talking to her for a bit, she hangs up the phone,  and apparently the swollen junk guy calls her and this ensues: “Yeah, well I was talking to my mom. What are you going to do about it? Well did she get you an appointment? She should have gotten you an appointment! It’s all red and swollen Tyler, you need to get it checked out! It’s been that way for 2 weeks, it can’t be nothing! That is the fucking stupidest fucking thing I have heard someone say in my whole fucking life. What if it was me? Wouldn’t you want me to get checked out? Tyler, it’s swollen! Especially the right one!”

She went on for a little while and then eventually hung up, saying she couldn’t deal with him anymore. I sat, pretending not to hear her, but snickering under my breath. The following things came to mind:

1) She referred to his penis as his “down there” and I couldn’t help but think of 50 Shades of Crappity Crap and Anastasia Steele’s “down there”.

2) Did she not realize that sound travels and that anyone in the vicinity could clearly hear her?? (There were several people walking by at the time too.)

3) Poor, poor Tyler. He didn’t even know his girlfriend (? I’m hoping that’s what she is) was spouting off about his “junk” in a very public place.

It was entertaining though 🙂 Welcome to life on a college campus!


About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 41 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 23 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on August 29, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I’m sorry…she was talking to her mother about her boyfriend’s swollen ball?

  2. Yeah, they think the phone makes them instantly invisible and silent. She actually said “down there”? You mean real people say that? And then she goes on to red swollen junk? People are freaking weird.

    I’m actually surprised the girl wasn’t texting and checking email while listening to her IPod, effectively blinding and deafening herself. That’s what all the kids at my university do. And they all have laptops now. WTF.

  3. Yes! She said “down there” and had the hardest time not bursting out laughing! Technology is definitely taking over…

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