Update on Big D

Thought some of you might like an update on how Friday went. We got Big D up at 6:45am so that I would have enough time to say goodbye to him before I left for work. We talked in the kitchen for a while about the big change he was facing, and he seemed pretty excited still about everything, however, he was procrastinating getting into the shower. Finally we told him he needed to get in, and he came over to me to give me a big hug. I told him I’ll miss him, and he said, “Me too”, and went up to shower. I wanted to cry, but I knew I needed to be strong for D and I didn’t want to scare Big D or make him feel bad about leaving. So I teared up a bit, but held it together.

A few hours later, D texted me to let me know they made it to campus safe and sound, and they were moving in. Then, around lunchtime, I got another text saying that things were going well, but that it was hard to get him to leave the house in the morning. She said he was bawling, and kept saying “This is it,” over and over. It was hitting him that he was leaving home for the longest he’s ever been away and he was scared. He’s a big, burly, muscle man, but he is sensitive and loves his mommas!  He thought for sure we saw him crying going up the stairs, but I was trying not to look at him at that point for fear of losing it myself.

When Big D started crying, apparently D started crying too. They had a long talk and she finally got him to go out the door. Later he told her that the hardest part of the day was taking those first steps out of the house. By lunch, they were both doing better and she stayed with him until about 1:00 p.m. Then he said, ” Mom, I don’t want you to feel like I want you to leave, but I’m ready to explore the campus on my own now.” She responded that he let her stay longer than she thought he would, and that was fine. They hugged, D started crying again and cried the whole almost 2 hr drive home.

I was still at work (bored out of my mind) and texted her to ask how she was holding up. She wrote back: “I am on a nervous cleaning spree…damn kid I was doing good until he started crying. He said he lost it after he hugged you!!!” When I got home she was still trying not to cry. I told her to let it out! She cried and cried. She said she was doing so well, but after he lost it, she felt like he wasn’t ready  for all of it.

We texted with him later that night, and things were going well. He was only worried about the speed of his wireless internet (kids these days!). We have texted back and forth every day so far and last night he wrote ” You know what? College life is even better than I imagined!” That relieved D’s mind a lot! We are planning to Skype with him near the end of the week. I  just glad he is safe, happy and healthy and having fun! Today is his first day of classes, so I hope he still likes it as much when he has homework to do!

Edited to add: I just got a call from D saying that Big D was upset. They wouldn’t give him his books at the bookstore. I called their Financial Aid office and they fixed the problem. Then I called Big D and he was not upset at all. In fact, he was rushing me off the phone. He said he was “busy”! Damn kid!! Hasn’t seen me in three days and doesn’t want to have a conversation with me. What? You think he has better things to do? I’m very interesting to talk to!



About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 41 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 23 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on August 20, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. wow, what a change in your lives. what an experience. as i read your post, i could feel just a tiny bit of what a parent might feel during this time. thank you so much for sharing! i am truly touched (i have no idea why, but i am 🙂 ). hang in there! you & D will get used to this, and it’ll be great! xo

    • Thank you Liz! We are getting more and more used to it by the day 🙂 We miss him, but we also like having time to just us. D felt so much less like crying after he sent that text last night. He’ll have a blast! I know I did when I went to college!

  2. Aw, man. I can only imagine how this is going to feel in many years. So glad he’s doing well!

    • On one hand it’s fun. On the other it’s scary. On another hand (yes, I have three! 🙂 ), it’s just a plain weird feeling. I keep reminding myself how I felt at his age. I was so happy to have the freedom!

      It was sad to hear he was so conflicted once it was actually time to go, but he’s adjusting well so far!

  3. So bittersweet, but straight-up sweet that he cried that much to say goodbye to his mamas!

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