My Subconscious Hates Me

While on vacation last week I slept like a rock. I had not slept better than that in forever. Now that I am back at work, sleep seems to be a bit elusive. On Monday night I woke up at 3:30am and last night I don’t think I even slept at all. The best part about all this? As soon as I realize I am up, my subconscious begins playing that Katy Perry song “Wide Awake” on repeat (mostly just the part that goes “I’m wide awake”, although sometimes the other lyrics make an appearance even though I don’t know them)

Imagine trying to fall asleep/go back to sleep with your mind telling you you are wide awake! Ugh! I think it hates me. (I also think it’s a little funny that it picks that song to play!)

Now the song is stuck in my head again….any suggestions?? I have tried:

  • saying the alphabet backwards
  • signing the 50 states song in my head
  • counting
  • counting backwards by 3’s from 300
  • signing a lullabye in my head or any other song to mask that one

Nothing has worked! I need sleep!!



About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 41 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 23 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on August 8, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Pick up something horribly boring to read–50 shades, maybe?–that could put you to sleep.

  2. Ha! That wouldn’t help, I’d be too busy banging my head against the wall at the crapiness of it all! I think that would wake me up more, no? (and I already gave it back to my mom 🙂 )

  3. L got me into podcasts when I had trouble (had? I still do). I subscribe to UK comedy podcasts and stick them on. At first I listen, but after 15-20 mins it’s just background noise and I’m away again.
    This doesn’t always work, but usually does. I recommend Answer Me This! & the BBC Friday Night Comedy ones.

    If you have an ipad/phone, I also recommend a “relax completely” app. I think I searched for insomnia and it came up, it was free on iTunes in the app store. It’s about 20mins and has only failed to put me back to sleep once.

    L is a heavy sleeper so I can put my ipad under my pillow and listen, but if D is a light sleeper I recommend some noise isolating earphones which are comfy to wear in bed. (Creative EP630s are cheap and you won’t mind breaking them if you do)

    If you have any questions please ask… I’ve been suffering for over a year on and off now with waking at any time between 03:30 and 05:30 regularly, so I share your pain x

    • Thanks for the suggestions GOAS! I will start with trying out that app. I’ll let you know how it goes!

      D is a VERY light sleeper, so I will have to use headphones, but it’s worth a shot!

  4. Melatonin almost always helps me. You can buy them at natural food stores. Just make sure the lights are dim or off when you take it.

  5. Gah! You’re an anomaly 🙂 My next suggestion was going to be to take a benadryl, but I suppose that could have the opposite effect too…

    • Thanks for the tip. I do have other things to take, I just wish I didn’t have to! I always go through a period of insomnia this time of year for some reason. Two years ago there was a time when I didn’t sleep for a week. I got out of bed one day and just started bawling. I need my sleep! I decided to break down and take some OTC sleeping pills and take the day off of work to try and rest. Thankfully that worked, but I would hate to go through that again!

  6. Podcasts are definitely the only thing that worked for me. It took a while for them to have the necessary effect, I originally started listening to them for something to do in the middle of the night, but they became my sleep trigger. (I was alone in the house with C, so drugs weren’t an option.) Now I don’t actually get to listen to many of them because I’m zonked after 10-15 mins.

    Headphones are a good shout, as they block out all other noise. I found that helped the voices carry me off to sleep more quickly, so even if D wasn’t a light sleeper, I’d suggest getting some comfy ones.

    • Thanks for the tips! Finding comfortable headphones that I can sleep with – now that is a challenge! I am a stomach/side sleeper mostly. If I fall asleep on my back, D says I snore. When I ask her to describe the sound, it’s really just a loud breathing, not snoring, but it keeps her awake! LOL!

  7. Benadryl is the thing that works for me (also marketed as Sleep-Eze, Simply Sleep, or Unisom). I’ve struggled with insomnia since I was a kid, and Benadryl is the one thing that will reset my sleep clock if I’ve had a few bad nights. I’d be a basket case without it.

    • I’ve used unisom before. The only problem is that I am so sensitive to medication that I can only take half of one, and I still feel like a zombie in the morning.

      Thankfully I actually did sleep last night, so I am feeling much better! I have never tried benedryl, but maybe I will next time!

  8. I do the warm milk thing or benadryl (lol) – it knocks me out pretty bad. But I try not to indulge because when I wake up after, I feel like my brain functions realllllll slow. Like, my body is awake but it takes a lot longer for my brain to wake up.

    I tried counting sheep and somehow I did fall asleep but then I dreamt about the sheep cursing me out because I made it jump over the fence too much. We eventually settled for a beer together while pondering the meaning of life. This is not a joke, lol. This actually happened.

    • Yeah, my body is sensitive to meds, so anything I take will have to be something that wears off within 7 hours or so. Otherwise I feel like night of the living dead the next day! LOL!

      That is too funny! The sheep were cursing at you! Haha! It’s interesting what our minds come up with when we’re asleep, isn’t it?

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