Why Do I Hate This So?
There is one thing that really irritates me more than anything. I mean bugs the CRAP out of me! What is it, you may ask? It’s when I am carrying something or putting something in the car, or unloading my trash at the dump and a man comes over to help. I absolutely HATE it! Yes, I know they are just trying to be nice, but I CAN DO IT MYSELF! If I ask for your help, okay, fine. But if I am doing it myself, I do not need your help thankyouverymuch!*
There is a song by Ani DiFranco called Not a Pretty Girl that sums my feelings up nicely:
“…I ain’t no damsel in distress-
and I don’t need to be rescued –
so put me down, punk.
Wouldn’t you prefer a maiden fair?
Isn’t there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere?”
I hate it that just because I am a woman, men perceive me as weak. Example: On Monday, we bought the chimnea I talked about in the last post. It came in a rather large box, but was not overly heavy. First the store owner wanted to help us get it to the car (which was across the street), and I politely declined. I hefted the box up and walked it there myself. Then, a guy came running out of another store to help me get it in the car – which I was having no trouble at all doing myself. He started asking if we could put our seats down, and I said yes, but we didn’t need to, and proceeded to fit the thing nicely and easily onto the back seat. I am not mentally challenged. I can figure things out for myself.
We are two women who run a household together very well without any men** (SHOCKER) there to help, and even though neither one of us is manly. We mow or own lawn, fix whatever needs to be fixed, put together whatever needs putting together – all on our own. We built our fence out back and laid the floor in our kitchen (among numerous other things) BY OURSELVES. No men were involved, whatsoever.
I was brought up to be able to take care of myself, and that is what I do. D finds it funny that I get so upset by this because it doesn’t bother her in the least. For me, it’s a put-down. It’s an insult when someone tries to help when I am very capable of doing it myself.
How do you feel about this? I wonder if one of us was butch, would these men still feel the need to help? Do you have experience with this?
* I’m not rude about it, and I let them help if they insist, but I seethe about it for the rest of the day, and apparently long after that too!
** Yes, Big D is a man now, but he normally doesn’t help with any projects or anything around the house. I have nothing against men. I am against them thinking I cannot do something because I am a woman.