Tip for Lawn Mowing

Now that we are getting warmer weather, it has been time to start mowing the lawn again. D and I both love this “chore”. Seriously. I’m not joking about that. We had to come up with a system to make sure we each get to do it equally. We have mowed it 3 times so far this year (once a week). The first week I did it, and the second one she did. On Saturday it was time to mow again, so of course it was my turn. Only this time there wasn’t just the grass to contend with, there were the dreaded dandelions too. I don’t know how many of you out there have lawns to mow, but let me just tell you how much I loathe those stupid dandelions! They mess up my perfectly neat and orderly yard, and they are impossible to fully get rid of (at least for the first month or so of summer). Last week we just had your run of the mill yellow bastards. This week there were hundreds of the ones that you can blow to spread the seeds far and wide. Our yard looked like an overgrown jungle (in the course of 1 week) and I felt for a moment like I was back in ‘nam* 😉

I started up the mower and went about tidying up. Almost immediately those seeds started flying. They get in your eyes, try to go up your nose and get stuck in your hair. The worst that they do I should have expected but didn’t. Apparently I had my mouth open, and they started flying into my mouth! YUCK! As soon as one flew in I thought to myself, “M, you big goober! What are you doing mowing with your mouth open?!” I mean seriously, who does that? Sheesh!

So my tip for you today, dear readers, is please, whatever you do, when mowing your lawn, do so with your mouth CLOSED. You won’t look like a goober, and you won’t end up swallowing tons of dandelion seeds and grow a forest of them in your stomach. You’re welcome. 🙂

*This joke is for my little wifey. The first time I heard her say she felt like she was back in ‘nam, I nearly pissed myself with laughter. For those of you not aware of this reference, it means Vietnam, as in the Vietnam War that the US was involved in from 1965 to 1975. Obviously neither one of us was in this war (but my dad was!), so that’s what made it so funny to me. It’s a you had to be there sort of joke. Okay, I’ll shut up now.


About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 41 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 23 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on May 7, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. It doesn’t hurt to put your hair in a ponytail and wear a hat too! Damn things end up stuck in your hair and making you sneeze even when you’re back in the house.

  2. I feel like you’re just rubbing in your ability to mow your lawn ;).

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