Conversations of late

Wow! 2 posts in one day! (Don’t get used to it:))

On the phone with my mom last week:

Mom: Did you hear about the flooding in *town up north*?

Me: Yeah, it’s terrible.

Mom: Pray for them. Even though you keep saying on facebook that you don’t believe.

Me: *nervous laugh* What?

Mom: You said on facebook that you don’t believe. You don’t have to go to church but you have to believe in God.

Me: *more nervous laughter* I said that?

Mom: Yes. So pray for them, okay?

Gram in the background: I don’t go to church, but I pray all the time.

Mom: Did you hear that? Listen to your grandmother!

(the whole conversation was lighthearted, but I know she would not be happy if she really knew what I “believe”)

Yesterday while I was copying in the office down the hall:

Coworker #1: Wow! A tornado in Massachusetts, must be a sign of the end of the world!

Coworker #2: That’s hogwash. I won’t believe it’s the end of the world until I see Jesus himself walking down the street.

Me: What if you don’t believe in Jesus? Will you see no one walking down the street?

CW2: (sideways look) There is a higher power. Every religion has one.

Me: What if you don’t believe in religion.

CW2: You have to. There is one. Everyone believes in something.

Me: I don’t.

CW2: (another confused look) So you don’t think there is anyone here more powerful than you?

Me: Of course there are people who have more power than me, but I don’t necessarily believe in a higher power.

CW2 shakes head and walks away.

(Why do people keep telling me I have to believe?! I went to church my whole childhood. I grew up and formed my own opinions!)

And now a non-religious one from this morning as I was folding the laundry:

Big D: M, give me your honest opinion. Take out the fact that you are my step mom and you love me and all that.

Me: Oh no, is this about your muscles?

D: *laughs in the background*

Big D: Yes. Now give me your honest opinion. Which ones have gotten bigger and which do I need to work on?

Me: (cornered like a rat in a cage) Uh, I don’t know.

Big D: No, be honest!

M: Uh, Your biceps are bigger.

Big D: Besides my arms. Is my neck bigger? Is my chest bigger? I need a new workout, so I need to know what to work on.

Me: I don’t know, I don’t pay attention to those things. Your chest looks bigger I guess. I think you look great the way you are. Why would you want a bigger neck?

Big D: I don’t, but it happens naturally when you build your muscles.

D: *Gesturing to her shoulders behind Big D*

Big D: I need to know what to work on.

Me: Your shoulders. Yeah, your shoulders could be bigger.

Big D: Okay

D: I think his shoulders got bigger!

Me: Well you were going like this (puts hands on shoulders) I thought that’s what I was supposed to say!

D: You’re not supposed to tell him I was doing that!

*all of us laugh*

D: Big D, M doesn’t notice these sorts of things. She wouldn’t notice a hole in the floor if she tripped over it!

Me: I would too! I’m just not obsessed with anything like you two are. You’re obsessed with your hair, and he’s obsessed with working out.

Big D: Well at least we’re not obsessed with drugs!

Me: Good point!


About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 41 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 23 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on June 3, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Funny stuff. Even though I’m agnostic, no one has really ever challenged me on it. We all believe what we believe *shrugs*

    • I agree with you Strawberry, everyone is entitled to believe what they believe! I forgot this part, but you should’ve seen the face she gave me when I told her I don’t believe in Creationism! You would’ve thought I told her the world was flat!

  2. The conversation with Big D is hysterical. ahhh, boys and their desire to be “built”. jeez louise 🙂 Message me if you want to be friends on FB!!!!!! I love blog friends on FB!

  3. I loved reading about your conversation about the end of the world. It always shocks me that (some) religious people can be so certain in their beliefs and can’t even entertain the possibility that us atheists may be right….

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