Conversations of late
Wow! 2 posts in one day! (Don’t get used to it:))
On the phone with my mom last week:
Mom: Did you hear about the flooding in *town up north*?
Me: Yeah, it’s terrible.
Mom: Pray for them. Even though you keep saying on facebook that you don’t believe.
Me: *nervous laugh* What?
Mom: You said on facebook that you don’t believe. You don’t have to go to church but you have to believe in God.
Me: *more nervous laughter* I said that?
Mom: Yes. So pray for them, okay?
Gram in the background: I don’t go to church, but I pray all the time.
Mom: Did you hear that? Listen to your grandmother!
(the whole conversation was lighthearted, but I know she would not be happy if she really knew what I “believe”)
Yesterday while I was copying in the office down the hall:
Coworker #1: Wow! A tornado in Massachusetts, must be a sign of the end of the world!
Coworker #2: That’s hogwash. I won’t believe it’s the end of the world until I see Jesus himself walking down the street.
Me: What if you don’t believe in Jesus? Will you see no one walking down the street?
CW2: (sideways look) There is a higher power. Every religion has one.
Me: What if you don’t believe in religion.
CW2: You have to. There is one. Everyone believes in something.
Me: I don’t.
CW2: (another confused look) So you don’t think there is anyone here more powerful than you?
Me: Of course there are people who have more power than me, but I don’t necessarily believe in a higher power.
CW2 shakes head and walks away.
(Why do people keep telling me I have to believe?! I went to church my whole childhood. I grew up and formed my own opinions!)
And now a non-religious one from this morning as I was folding the laundry:
Big D: M, give me your honest opinion. Take out the fact that you are my step mom and you love me and all that.
Me: Oh no, is this about your muscles?
D: *laughs in the background*
Big D: Yes. Now give me your honest opinion. Which ones have gotten bigger and which do I need to work on?
Me: (cornered like a rat in a cage) Uh, I don’t know.
Big D: No, be honest!
M: Uh, Your biceps are bigger.
Big D: Besides my arms. Is my neck bigger? Is my chest bigger? I need a new workout, so I need to know what to work on.
Me: I don’t know, I don’t pay attention to those things. Your chest looks bigger I guess. I think you look great the way you are. Why would you want a bigger neck?
Big D: I don’t, but it happens naturally when you build your muscles.
D: *Gesturing to her shoulders behind Big D*
Big D: I need to know what to work on.
Me: Your shoulders. Yeah, your shoulders could be bigger.
Big D: Okay
D: I think his shoulders got bigger!
Me: Well you were going like this (puts hands on shoulders) I thought that’s what I was supposed to say!
D: You’re not supposed to tell him I was doing that!
*all of us laugh*
D: Big D, M doesn’t notice these sorts of things. She wouldn’t notice a hole in the floor if she tripped over it!
Me: I would too! I’m just not obsessed with anything like you two are. You’re obsessed with your hair, and he’s obsessed with working out.
Big D: Well at least we’re not obsessed with drugs!
Me: Good point!