Kid Free Weekend(s)

Last weekend we got a surprise. Big D got offered a job to go hang sheetrock with some of his friends. The job was in a town 45 minutes away, so he stayed with his friend on Friday and Saturday night. He has never stayed away 2 nights in a row! It was an unexpected and amazing kid free weekend. He had a great time, and even though he did a few things we wouldn’t necessarily approve of (going to Denny’s at 3:00 am with 20 friends), at least he came home safe, and felt safe enough to tell us everything he did. We’ve decided not to discipline him for that. He wasn’t out drinking and drugging, and since he will be going to college next year, we know we have to pick our battles and let him go a little. Next year he will be able to do whatever he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it. We need to get used to that fact and let him grow up a bit. And it’s not like he robbed a liquor store or hired a prostitute.

This weekend he is gone for another 4 blissful days. He left yesterday morning for a leadership conference at a college 2 hours away. He was picked as one of only 2 students at his school to attend. He has attended a few other leadership conferences in the past (although this is the first 4 day overnight one), and we are so proud of all he is doing. He was recommended for the National Honor Society this past week as well, and is receiving more honor awards in another week. This kid continues to amaze me. He is so responsible, caring and intellegent.

When D went to work yesterday after dropping Big D off, she found a surprising reaction from her co-worker. The other woman was talking about how her son smokes pot all day and how they struggle with him to go to school. She also said she used to smoke pot all day too. D simply stated that she never got into drugs. It wasn’t a criticism, just a statement of fact. Her co-worker shot back with, “Well we can’t all have perfect children, now can we?” This shocked D. It’s not like she goes around bragging about him all the time. She was just telling them about the conference. This made D feel like she shouldn’t be allowed to talk about Big D because she’s not complaining about him all the time. I told her she shouldn’t be ashamed of all she did in raising Big D to be who he is. She still decided not to say much more in the future. But why should she have to censor herself?

For the next few days we are getting used to a kid free house to get us ready for next year. It’s weird. We are excited and happy for Big D and the direction his life is going, but we both feel guilty in relishing a kid free home. We would never want anything to happen to him, or for him never to come back, but it is kind of nice to be just us. We’ve never been “just us”. Big D has always been in the picture. Someday in the not so distant future, we will come home, just me and her, and not have someone following us around the house talking about what a fantastic workout he just had, and “look at my muscles, no, really look. I benched 205 yesterday. This supplement is making me so strong. I did 30 reps of this, and 50 reps of that. So and so could only do so many. I’m a beast.” LOL! It’s so funny the way he talks lately. He is so into working out. I am just glad he is so into healthy things.

And no, we can’t all have perfect children. Big D is not perfect. He has his flaws and his teenage attitude at times, but he is ours. He is happy and heathly and honest. And I couldn’t ask for anything more.


About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 41 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 23 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on May 27, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Congrats to you both for raising a strong and well rounded son!!! What an amazing adventure to be one of only TWO students for a leadership conference!! I’m sure he will have a blast!! And I have the sinking suspicion that you guys will figure out a way to spend all your free time sans the boy *wink*

  2. Shame on her coworker for saying something so dumb. Obviously Big D isn’t perfect–but it sounds like he’s turned out to be a really great kid, and of course his parenting had something to do with that. And don’t feel guilty about enjoying the empty nest–it’s another sign that you did a good job that you can let go and be happy once the birdies leave the nest!

  3. Thanks for the support ladies! And A, hee hee, we have! 😉

  4. i can only hope we have a teenage son like yours someday!

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