New Blog Names

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I call our son on this blog. I’ve always called him “Little D” because my wife’s first name also begins with D. But he’s not so little anymore and hasn’t been for some time. He used to be shorter and rounder, but now he is a tall, lean, mean, muscle building machine! So from now on, he will be referred to as Big D:) (I know, so creative, right?!)

After Big D’s phone call with his “father”, he asked that we not to refer to his “father” as that anymore. We now call him “The Donor” around the house, so that is how I will refer to him here. (Big D sometimes refers to him as “Dummy”, which is quite funny when he says it!)

Anyway, right after I posted the last blog about the phone being quiet, The Donor tried to call that night. He did not leave a message. This past weekend he called again and did leave one. It said, “Hey Big D, this is your father. I would really like to talk to you. Please call me.” We all can’t believe that he still does just not get it. Big D does not want to talk to him or see him, or have anything to do with him. He told him himself! Big D heard it and said, “yeah right! I’m not calling him!”

Then, yesterday there was a call from a telemarketer on our answering machine for The Donor. We all laughed so hard. They are trying to locate him (we are guessing because he owes money). Good luck with that!

Even still, the house has been so peaceful, and Big D has been so happy these past few weeks.

We’re supposed to have a court date with The Donor on the 23rd, but we know he hasn’t been complying and may not even show. Nothing ever happens to him for not complying, and we really don’t want to see him, so we are not going and not telling them. They will dismiss the case, but what good has the case been doing anyway? None. That way, if he does show, he will have driven an hour and a half for nothing. We have taken so many days off work just to go there and have him not show up, so now it’s his turn!

We are seriously looking into the adoption route (me adopting Big D) and there is a way to do it without the consent of The Donor, but we have to prove him unfit…..that shouldn’t be a problem!! Wish us luck!

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About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 40 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 22 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on May 12, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. good luck! I hope it’s a smooth process for you!

  2. Hooray for adoption and I hope that all goes smoothly!!!

    PS “the donor”…how funnY!!

  3. Isn’t Big D nearing 18? How necessary is an adoption or a court case or anything at this point? Genuinely curious.

    • Hi Strawberry-

      Thanks for the comment and questions:)

      He turned 16 in January. The court case I was referring to was about child support. We are done fighting him on it. He hasn’t paid in forever and owes over $40,000 at this point. So our issue is, why should he have any rights if he doesn’t support Big D emotionally, mentally, physically or financially? All he did was basically make a sperm donation.

      The adoption issue came up for a few reasons:

      1) Big D doesn’t ever want anything to do with his “donor” ever again. If we don’t revoke his rights through adoption, he will be a thorn in Big D’s side forever and there is nothing Big D, or we, can do about it. Right now he has to be informed if we move and has say in it, he can asked to be involved in school stuff and medical issues (not that he does), and he always has to have our phone number. If his rights are revoked, we could change our number and never have to see or hear from him again.

      2) It seems silly to me to have raised this child from 9 years old, only to have absolutely no rights to him if something happens to D.

      3) Big D is going off to college next year and will get tuition remission through me, yet I am not “officially” related to him.

      The most important thing is that if anything happens to D within the next 2 years, I will have no trouble keeping Big D with me. It’s a shame we didn’t try and do this before, but all of us kept giving him chances to see if he could live up to being a father. Enough is enough with this man.

  4. Gotcha, thanks for the explanation. I wonder if in the mean time, you could do ‘standby guardianship’ or something. Until our son was born and until I could legally adopt him 3 months later, we had our lawyer draw up that paperwork so I would have at least some legal rights to his care.

  5. Thanks for the idea! We will look into that too:)

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