First of all, I want to thank everyone that read and commented on my last post! I will be writing a post about my ex friend or my ex girlfriend next.
But this morning I am sad. I wrote a while back about my friend V, who was the person that helped me realize my sexuality back when I was 17. She was such a huge part of my life. Since she lives in France, so I haven’t seen her in years, and in fact, have not talked to her in a loooooonnnngggg time. I lost touch with her for a few years, and then, when D and I decided to do a big wedding, I tried to contact her in every way possible. I called her, sent her an invitation, called again, and again, sent a letter, called again, sent another invitation to a different address I found, and then called several more times. Over the course of the year before our wedding I called her so many times that I lost count. I got her voicemail sometimes and left her messages with my phone number in case she lost it. That was also the year that the Air*France plane went down. She was a flight attendant the last time I knew. Anyway, she never called me back, and we had our wedding without her. That was almost 9 months ago. I tried again to call her in December, but nothing. I talked to the people who were her host parents here, and they haven’t spoken to her in years either.
We have a mutual friend who went to France as an exchange student and they spent a lot of time together while she was there. Over the years between high school and 2004, V came back and stayed with R (the mutual friend), and made a point to come see me as well. In 2005, after D and I had our Civil Union ceremony, I talked to V for the last time. She seemed a little upset she wasn’t invited (for the record, no one was), but by the end of the conversation she told me she loved me and we hung up.
I finally wrote R a message on Face*book this week about her possibly trying to contact V and giving her my phone number. I came in this morning to a message from R. She talked to V last weekend. She is fine and even has an almost 3 year old daughter. She said she didn’t call her this weekend, but she will call her and pass along my messages.
I am glad R will let her know my number. I am glad she is safe and okay. But I am sad. Sad that she is okay and hasn’t returned my calls or letters. Sad that she didn’t pick up the phone when I called. Sad that she will talk to R, but not me. Sad that I have missed out on so much of her life. And yes, part of me is sad that she has a daughter and I have no children of my own.
I just don’t understand it. I hope that once R tells her what I’ve asked her to and gives her my phone number (again), that she will reach out to me. I guess only time will tell.
But this morning I am very sad…….