I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. But this is actually a good thing. I haven’t thought about TTCing in over three weeks! And I and totally, 100% okay with that.
Ever since my wife started her class on Wednesday nights, I have felt different. It’s a good kind of different though. I am still madly in love, this is not a break-up post. In fact I love her more and more, and now that I see her one evening less, I realize how madly, deeply in love with her I am! She works a little different of a schedule from me, including Monday nights and Saturdays. So this extra night away from her has been hard, but I’m dealing okay. I know there are people out there who see their spouses way less than I do! I have also been attending Little D’s games mostly alone because of her schedule, but she surprised me on Saturday and got out early and met me there:) It was wonderful to be there with her, instead of standing there by myself!
I’m feeling like writing again, which is awesome! I have officially started writing my second novel (I haven’t tried to publish the first yet). Even if nothing comes of it, it is great for me to escape into my head and make up stories. Mostly I write about young lesbians. About things that I wish had happened to me in high school or college. But in novel form of course.
I am also really digging a show out of England called Sk*ins (it’s out on Netfli*x for Wii and I have been watching it constantly). The third season has a lesbian relationship in it, and the 4th continues it, although I haven’t gotten to see the 4th season yet. Watching things like that and South of No*where inspire me. They make me remember what it’s like to be a young lesbian, and all the feelings, emotions, crushes that go with it. And I love that feeling. That nostalgic feeling. It makes me feel creative. So I’m writing again.
I have always wanted to be a writer. Ever since I learned to read when I was 4, and wrote my first “book” at age 6. It has always been a passion of mine, and I’m not sure why I haven’t pursued it more. I guess I’m afraid of rejection when it comes to trying to get published. I wrote a lot of short stories in high school, but they were mostly about straight relationships. I went to college for Communications, and got wrapped up in TV production, movie making, etc, and only wrote one play when I was there (a lesbian one).
I want to feel this way for a while. I want to feel inspired. I want to….just write. Even if it means no one will ever read it. Even if it’s just for me. It’s so exciting to feel this way, and I can’t wait to see what it brings.