Is there or isn’t there?

Our son, Little D, is taking an online college course through our state’s university this semester. It’s to help him gain enough credits to graduate a year early. He chose Intro to Philosophy. This week’s assignment was to discuss whether or not he believes in the existence of G-O-D. When he first started the class last week, he and I had a long conversation about this assignment, and he was kind of undecided at that point.

D and I were both raised very religious, her catholic, me, born again christian. I have always questioned the bible, my parents beliefs, and those taught to us in church. I was basically dragged to church from the time I was 12 until I was 17, and then my parents decided it wasn’t worth the fight. (Before 12, I went willingly, although not entirely happily). When it came time to become confirmed, I denied the opportunity. I spent most of the teen years in the church nursery taking care of other people’s children. I enjoyed Christmas Eve service, and even looked forward to it, but that’s about it. D went to church with her mother faithfully until she was in her 20’s, and then stopped. She isn’t sure what she believes either.

Last night, Little D and I were home alone, as D was at her class, and we had another discussion about it, because that was the day he was supposed to post what he thought. He came to the conclusion that he does not believe in god, and I support him in that decision. He also stated that in the future he may change his mind. I implored him to have an open mind about his classmates views, not to try and change his decision, but to try and understand the other position as well. He said he will. I am very proud of him for thinking hard about this, and coming to his own conclusions, instead of having them forced on him by us.

We have had discussions about this subject before, and I have always told him that I am still searching for the right answer to the question. Because of D’s and my upbringing, I am almost afraid to say there is nothing out there. But my logical mind tells me that the scientific evidence makes more sense than the theological views. I told Little D that it may very well be a lifelong journey for him.

It’s been so cool being able to have deep conversations with him about topics like these, and I hope that continues. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and I am so glad he wants to learn about so many different things.

What about you? How and what do you plan to teach your children about religion? God?


About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 41 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 23 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on September 9, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Ah, this is the one issue that Nutella and I can’t seem to come to an agreement about. We were both raised Jewish, which is good…it does make things easier on the whole…but ever since late high school, I embraced agnosticism and stopped practicing Judaism (meaning, not fasting on Yom Kippur, not wishing to ever recite prayers, and more recently, no longer attending synagogue on high holy days (like today) which I used to in order to be closer to Nutella and her family, etc). I 100% believe that we cannot know for sure if there is a ‘God’ or not. And I’m totally ok with that. There is no pressing need for us to know what is out there other than to make ourselves feel better about living this life…and I’m not a) fooling myself or b) brainwashing myself.

    That said, denying Judaism is harder because it’s not just a religion but a culture…a People. I consider myself still Jewish because of my ancestry, but agnostic religiously. But Judaism and a strong belief in God go hand in hand. And therein lies the dilemma.

    Nutella would like to raise our son as a practicing Jew and send him to Hebrew school. Needless to say, I do not. I think it is a waste of time. I don’t want him to be brainwashed either. Why do we HAVE to believe in God? What is the big freaking deal? I cannot deny how many horrible things have been done in ‘God’s name.’ And I also cannot deny that one can be a good, honest and moral person without having a belief in God.

    So…while he is 16 months old…this is not a problem. But boy…it’s gonna be! I of course do not want to raise him ignorant of our culture and practices of the Jewish people (as well as other cultures/religions/practices), but I really don’t want there to be any focus on God.

    • I agree with you 100% Strawberry. Isn’t it more important to bring our children up with good morals than it is to bring them up believing in something we do not know for sure exists? I hope you and Nutella can come to an agreement that works well for all involved!

      BTW, my grandparents, great aunts and uncles are all Jewish, and growing up we took some of the Jewish traditions and continued them, such as lighting the Menorah, learning how to say a few Yiddish phrases, and eating Jewish foods – I LOVE Challah bread! My uncle was the pastor of the born again church we went to (so obviously he converted, and so did my mom). Now he converted back and is a Rabbi at a Christian-Jewish church/synagogue. I’m not sure how the teachings work, but to each their own!

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