We’re still talking

We had a long talk about everything last night before bed (and consequently didn’t sleep well). Things are still pretty much the same. She has her fears about it, and I have mine. We are a very close couple, and I am sure we will work it all out one way or another. She is my light and my world, and right now that’s what matters.

She keeps saying let’s go and get started, but she’s doing so reluctantly, and I am not really comfortable with forcing this on her so much. On the other hand, I am already 33, and my eggs are drying up!

I hope we come to a mutual decision very soon. One way or the other, someone is bound to be disappointed – that’s what sucks about the whole thing. The choice is not easy for either of us. I basically have to choose between having a baby and my wife’s happiness – which, needless to say, I am having a heck of a lot of trouble with. And she has to choose between giving me what I want and losing her freedom, or having me regret not having one for the rest of my life. Heavy stuff.

I’ll keep you all posted.

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About thelesbiannextdoor

I am a 40 year old lesbian, living with her wife in a small town. I have a 22 year old step-son. Who knows, I could be your neighbor ;) (Unless you know for sure your neighbor is not a lesbian - then I'm probably not!)

Posted on August 19, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Whew. It’s a hard one alright. Someone WILL be disappointed as you said…the question is, who?

    What matters to you more than anything else? Is it your needs or hers? Is it a baby, or is it your partner? And what matters more to her than anything else? Could she give it her all and get past the resentment she’ll have over this child? Would she be able to not let the child know of her resentment? (because after all, it won’t be the child’s fault). Could you let go of your resentment towards her if you never have this child? Would you be able to let go of this major, life-changing thing ever happening?

    It’s so hard when loving couples don’t see eye-to-eye. Someone HAS to give in or let go altogether. I’m sorry you’re in this position.

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