The Saturday Sweater


Throwback Thursday! This was originally posted on November 15, 2012. Enjoy!

Originally posted on The Lesbian Next Door:

I have a hideous sweater that I actually wore in public   before I realized how hideous it was. (To be fair, my wife never pointed out the fact that it was hideous until I had already worn it out for over a year.) It’s striped. For some reason I always think I will look good in striped shirts – but most of the time I do not. In fact, I had one short sleeved striped shirt that my wife affectionately came to call my “kindergarten shirt”, as I apparently looked like a kindergartener in it. I guess there are worse things to look like, but when I cleaned the closet a month ago, I ended up throwing it away.

Back to the point – I live in the northern US, so there is a need for one to own lots of sweaters. I do, and some of them are…

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Life This Past Year

My life has changed a lot this past year. A year ago I was in a deep depression about my parents moving away. I felt alone and scared and anxious. I was back up to my highest weight I have ever been, and I was starting to feel desperate. Once the sun came back, I started to feel a little better mentally, but I still felt fat. I thought I was doing everything I could to lose weight, but I was only fooling myself.

On July 26, 2013, I woke up and promised myself 2 things: that I would begin a workout routine that day, and that if I didn’t see any results in 2 months, I would go to my doctor. I had 20 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight, but I knew I wouldn’t get there in two months.

I made myself a calendar and hung it over my dresser in the bedroom. I wrote on it the exercise I would do each day, and my goal weights for the one and two month marks. I hid the scale, and didn’t step on it even one time in the first month. One of the best decisions I made was to do an exercise I like to do, instead of whatever fad was out there at the time. So I started boxing 6 days a week, and walking 2x a day every day.

I bought some equipment for my house and cleared out the room we used for junk. I have a heavy bag, a reflex bag and a speed bag. We also have two treadmills – a manual one for me, and an electric one for D. D also bought a weight machine, so I started incorporating that too. All of this didn’t cost as much money as you would think, and it is imperative that I have these things in the house because I don’t have the motivation to go to the gym!

I know it is hard for my body to lose weight. I am not the type of person you see on TV who loses 10 -30 lbs in one week. Fad diets don’t work for me. I knew it was going to take time, and I needed to give myself that. I work a desk job and sit a lot.

By the end of the first month I was down 4 lbs, and by the end of the second, I was down 8. By the middle of November, I was down 15 lbs and still going strong. At my yearly physical, my doctor was shocked that I had lost so much weight and wasn’t on any fad diets or diet pills. I don’t think she believed me when I told her it was all healthy diet and exercise :)

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and my birthday are all stacked up against each other and filled with food, but I did well, and continued to lose some more. In February and March I plateaued a bit, and I am currently not stepping on the scale again until May 1st.

I started out this journey at weighing 160lbs, and I am currently 140 (or was at my last weigh-in 2 weeks ago). I am 5’4″ tall, so this is a good weight for my frame.  I tried on all of my clothes from last summer that were tight on me, and they are loose now! I can’t even express how amazing that feels!

It has taken a lot of discipline and hard work to get here, but now it is my routine and I love it! My ultimate goal weight would be probably 130, but I am not stressing out to get there. I like the way my body looks now. If I stayed here, I would be perfectly content. I have some muscle definition in my arms, my thighs are much thinner, and my belly is almost completely flat.

There have been a few surprising side effects from all this healthy living:

1) No seasonal depression this year!

2) My anxiety has decreased a lot.

3) My sex drive is back up to full throttle. (not that it was ever that low to begin with! ;))

Every person is different. One thing may work for someone, but not for someone else. I refuse to do any of the diets out there right now (Weight*watchers, Herbal*life, etc). What works for me is eating healthy (but normal), watching portion sizes,  and letting myself splurge once in a while. I still let myself have ice cream, just not every day. One day a week I let myself eat whatever I feel like eating, and surprisingly I still don’t eat that much those days. The important thing is I am not starving myself or completely depriving myself.

Work has been really busy lately, which is why you have waited all this time to get a post from me, only to see it is a boring post about weight loss! ;) I continue to read everyone, but just don’t have the time to post as often. Not to mention I also don’t have a lot to post about! This is good, because it means that life is good!

We are still in the throes of love with our little kitty Maya. She’s 4 months old now! We have trained her to stay downstairs at night, so for the last week we have had full nights of uninterrupted sleep (except when we don’t hear her and wake up worrying if she is okay!) She is the light of our lives and we love her so much! How could we not? :

Maya Kitty

Maya Kitty

I know this pic is blurry, but look at that face!!

The Challenge


Bringing back a post I did at this time two years ago…hope you enjoy!

Originally posted on The Lesbian Next Door:

What follows is the story I made up using the words from my challenge . They are: pitch, beer, delight, chain and thud.

Not my best work, I should say, but fun none-the-less. Hope you enjoy :)

The Lost Night

I roll over and fall out of bed with a thud. The vibration knocks an empty beer can off my nightstand and it lands beside me and rolls across the floor. How much did I drink last night? My head is pounding and my body is heavy. I slowly drag myself to my feet and rub my eyes. There is an almost empty fifth of vodka on the dresser and the room is strewn with beer cans. My blankets are clumped up in a ball against the wall on the far side of the bed.  I look down and realize I am wearing a sports bra and a thong. Then…

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Welcome to Clone Club

I don’t really know how many of you out there like to read about the TV shows I find with LGBT characters on them, but I have a new obsession, so I thought I’d share :) I know I like to get new ideas, so what the heck?

What have I been obsessing about now?


Orphan Black*!! If you know this show, you’ll know I am late to the game a bit since it aired last year. D* and I have been binge watching it On Demand, and the new season starts on April 19th – so this is actually perfect timing!

Oh my goodness, do I love this show or what?! I won’t give away too much of the storyline, but basically it starts out with Sarah Manning:

This is Sarah

This is Sarah (and she has an English accent – swoon ;) )

She witnesses a woman jumping to her death in the first scene of the show. Before the woman jumps, they lock eyes and Sarah realizes the woman looks just like her:

This is Beth

This is Beth (well, sort of)

Since the woman (Beth Childs) is dead, Sarah, who’s been down on her luck, steals her purse and her identity. I won’t tell you what it is that Beth does for a living, since that was a great twist to me, but I will tell you that there are others. Many others who look just like Sarah:


Why?  Because they are clones! Okay, I know, you are probably thinking this is the silliest storyline, but let me tell you, I am HOOKED! One actress (Tatiana Maslany) plays 8 characters! She does it so well, you know who they are right away in each scene, even when they are talking to each other – she is AH-MAZING!! I can’t say enough good things about this show.

Oh, and one part that doesn’t hurt at all:

This is Cosima

This is Cosima

Cosima. Cosima is the geeky scientist of the group, and I have no idea why she is the one I am most attracted to, but her character is a lesbian. My gaydar could just be dinging overtime, but I almost always love the geeks. ;)

I am so glad they included a lesbian character. It was a little bit of a shock because there was no indication, but then again, that’s the amazing thing about it! They don’t treat it like it’s something unusual or anything. It’s just a normal thing. I love that so much!

In conclusion, if you are looking for something that is action-packed, will keep you on your toes, has excellent acting, and a little lady-loving – then you must see this show!! You won’t regret it!

* If D is watching this with me, you KNOW it’s good! She won’t watch a lot of my favorites. :(

** I don’t know why I am so attracted to Sci-fi shows right now: The Walking Dead, Lost Girl, and now Orphan Black. I’ve never liked Sci-Fi before, but these three shows are my top three favorite shows of all time! I must also love Canadians because Lost Girl and Orphan Black both are from Canada!


Wasn’t Me

Do you ever meet someone as you are coming out of the bathroom and want to say to them, “You will find a “present” in stall 3, and I thought you should know – it wasn’t me”?*

That is all.


* Yes, I seriously took the time to come here and write this after I haven’t written a post in what seems like forever :)


UPDATE: I realized after I posted this that people are thinking I mean I made the mess. That’s not what I meant! I have very good bathroom manners. I meant that I don’t want the people I meet coming into the bathroom to think I was the one who left the mess they will certainly find inside. Or the smell. ;)

Vermont is not “The Walking Dead”

Belle asked: “One question I do have is what prompted you to move from NY to VT?”

Thanks for the question Belle! I figured I would take this opportunity to talk about something I have been thinking about for a while now.

Vermont. It’s the beautiful state I have called home for 29 years. When we were kids, we lived on Long Island, NY. We lived a block away from a strip mall and a 7-11, a short ride to the beach, and an hour or so to New York City. I lived there from the time I was born in 1977, until August of 1985. We moved because our neighborhood was becoming more and more dangerous. We were never allowed to ride our bikes down the street – let alone around the block – so our parents packed us all up, put us in the back of my dad’s pick-up with a cap on it and a bench car seat bolted to the floor, and moved us to a sleepy little town in Vermont. My childhood was not without its bumps, but almost all my good memories revolve around being in Vermont.

In the summers we would get set free on our bikes in the morning to explore wherever we wanted to go. (I can remember “getting lost” the first day I ventured out with a friend who just moved there too.) We would swim in the river and bike to our friends’ houses, where we would always stay outside and play. There were no video game systems yet (besides Atari – and Pong can get a little old) – and even if there were, we wouldn’t think of staying inside all day! We would bike over to the corner store and buy loads and loads of penny candy and Garbage Pail Kid cards, and we’d compare our hauls and make trades. At night we’d play hide and go seek in the dark or flashlight tag (the early 80′s version of laser tag ;) ).

The internet wasn’t even a flicker of a reality yet, and our “computer” was one that you had to write a long program on to draw a square. This was before cellphones, so our parents had absolutely no idea where we were all day long – and it was bliss. We would be expected to be home when the streetlights came on, and they trusted that we would be. If we were running a little late, my dad would go out on the front porch and whistle so loud that you could hear it from a block away. We knew we were in a bit of trouble if he had to do that, so we always tried to make sure he didn’t have to.

We had barbeques, and went to the local lake to use the paddle-boats. The 4th of July was always spent watching the big parade, swimming, and stuffing ourselves silly full of junky food like hot dogs and hamburgers. Then we would all go down to the elementary school to watch the fireworks.

The winters were also idyllic, and we weren’t afraid to go outside and build forts in the snow and have snowball fights with the neighbors. We would go to the college hill or even to the cemetery* to sled. On snowy nights we would go out into the crisp air and watch the snow silently fall. It’s hard to describe the feeling of being outside during a quiet snowfall at night, but the best I can come up with is that it’s like being in a snow globe.

When I graduated from high school, I wanted, as most kids do, to move far away from my hometown. I didn’t get into the one college I wanted to go to near NYC, so I ended up going to a college in a town very close to home. Figuring I’d transfer after a year, but I settled in. And I never left. I fell in love with the community – everyone from the faculty to the students to the lunch ladies – and I made it my place. After college I worked low-end jobs for 2 years before coming back to the place that I love. I have worked here ever since – 13 years – and I plan to be here until I can retire.

Many people moved away**, and most of them envy me for living back in our hometown. I can’t say I blame them, it’s a really great place. We have all the things I ever wanted in a home – a yard, a pool and a swing on the front porch. You can always see the stars here at night. I love living simply, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

I say all of this because my cherished Vermont has been in the news lately. The Governor made a point to talk about the heroin problem we are having when he gave his State of the State Address. Heroin. It’s the drug of choice for hundreds of thousands of people all across the US, and the world. It’s literally everywhere. So why is it such a big deal that it’s in VT? Because VT is seen as this “perfect” place. The problem is, no place is 100% perfect. Not one state has zero flaws – even my beautiful state.

Now the media and all sorts of people out there are flipping the fuck out and saying things like “It’s so bad there – so glad I moved away!” The New York Times*** is running articles about the heroin problem here. Even better, people who only lived here a very short time are writing web articles about how everyone here is not only addicted to heroin, but also child molesters! What the holy fuck? First of all, you don’t live here, so how in the world can you even begin to know what’s happening here?? You (the NYT) find the lowest of the low-lives to interview and then make it seem like all of Vermont is an episode of The Walking Dead! I am here to say, as someone who lives, breaths and works in Vermont, it is very far from being as bad as the media is making it out to be!

What pisses me off is not that the fact that the heroin problem here has been exposed – it’s been here for a long time – just like everywhere else. What pisses me off is that we live in such a fear culture. Everywhere you look the message is: “Be afraid! Be VERY afraid!” “If you go to VT you will become addicted to heroin!” “The streets are filled with drug addicted welfare cases!” I can’t tell you how sick of hearing this I am!

The US is a melting pot of the world, and because there are so many different types of people, the media and the government have decided to scare the bejesus out of us to keep us in line. Drugs! Guns! Kidnapping! Rape! All of these things exist and are absolutely terrible, but I believe we have revved everyone up so bad that the problems have been getting worse and worse.

When I was a kid, I was almost kidnapped twice. I remember all the after school specials, and being told never get in the car with a stranger. I even remember our phone number from when we lived in NY, because it was drilled into our heads. The first time a couple tried to pick me up on our block in NY. They asked me if I knew directions to some amusement park. Mind you, I was probably 6 or 7 years old. When I said no, they told me to get in the car so I could show them the way. I said no again and ran home.

The second time was in VT (see? nowhere is perfect!) This time I was on Main street doing my Christmas shopping, when a guy in a pick-up told me he knew my dad and offered me a ride home. I respectfully declined, and he kept trying to get me to get in. I walked away very quickly. Even with those two instances, I wasn’t afraid of the places I lived.

Now my generation has grown up to be fear mongers. We don’t trust our kids to go anywhere that we don’t know. (I am guilty of this too.) Gone are the days of bike riding, penny candy and lazy days by the lake. Now our kids are video-game and cellphone addicted! Some have trouble relating to real live people because most of their time is spent online. We, as parents,  perpetuate this problem because we would much rather know our kids are safe, then worry about the problems this type of activity can cause. But by keeping them safe, are we teaching them anything about the world?

This post has already gotten way too long, and all to answer a really simple question!

I’ll just sum it all up like this: I love my home. I will always love it, and I will always defend it in the face of people who think they know it but do not. If you don’t like it here, that’s fine, it’s not for everyone. Just go back to where you came from and shut the hell up. *End Rant*


* I broke my wrist by sliding into a tombstone in the 5th grade, so we stopped going there :) There are some really great hills there though!

** I moved too in 1999, but the farthest I went was a 30 minute drive from home. In 2004 I moved back when D and I bought my Gram’s old house.

*** The best part about that article is that it said that it’s people from New York City that come up here to sell the drugs. Oh the irony.

****I’m not going to say now they are drug addicted, because guess what? There have always been people who are addicted to drugs. And there always will be. The only real difference is that our Governor wants to try and deal with the issue instead of hiding it away.

Check This Out

I just came across a HILARIOUS post that suggests we make homosexuality a religion to end all of the debate. If you want to laugh today, check it out here.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

11 Possibly Interesting Things About Me

Solo Mama posted 11 interesting things about herself and urged others to do the same, so I thought, what the heck!

Here are 11 (possibly) interesting facts about me:

1) I am the youngest of 5 siblings (3 brothers and one sister) – all of which I treat as full siblings, but only one of which who is full-blood. Two of my brothers were adopted when they were 15 or 16, and my sister is technically my 1/2 sister. My oldest adopted brother came into our lives when I was 2 or 3, so I can’t remember a time without him. My other adopted brother was 15 and so was I when we adopted him. We were in the same class and we stay in touch more than any of my other sibs. My sister is a mess, and I won’t go into her story now – there’s too much to tell!

2) I had my first crush on a woman when I was in 5th grade. I fell head over heels for our student teacher. I can still remember those pitter-pat feelings every time I saw her. One time she told me she was going to come to my basketball game, and I swear I had a coronary imagining the bliss we would be in together! I think I actually played in that game too – instead of just warming the bench. I was sure she would be mine! LOL!

3) Since the 5th grade, I have had at least 3 or 4 unrequited crushes on my straight best friends at the time.

4) One of those crushes I am pretty sure the affection was returned (requited?), but she was too scared to admit it.

5) I was born in New York, but have lived most of my life in Vermont, where we moved to when I was 8.

6) Two of my oldest friends are from foreign countries. (They were exchange students at my school.)

7) I was kind of a loner in high school and people didn’t like me much. I’d much rather be reading or writing or working than going to all the big parties. I felt so much older than all of them (even though I wasn’t), and I only had a handful of really close friends. I also knew I felt things they didn’t and it made it hard to relate to them.

8) Even though I was 99% sure I was a lesbian by the age of 17, I still dated a bunch of guys. Not slept with, just “dated”. There was one guy I dated on and off for three years. He was the one I did the most things sexually with – but I really was hoping it would be my straight friend at the time. See #’s 3 and 4 above. The other guys I mostly just kissed. I was searching for that feeling everyone said they had. I didn’t. Not with guys at least. No one can never say I didn’t try it though!

9) I love movies, TV shows and books! All the better if there is a lesbian character or two.* I went to college for Mass Media Communication and loved making movies and writing plays and TV scripts for class.

10) I love mint chocolate chip ice cream, even though my wife and son tell me it tastes like mouthwash. (Which it totally DOESN’T! :P )

11) I started writing when I was 4, and as most people who have blogs, I have wanted to be a writer all my life. Now I just need to up my discipline and actually finish one of my many started novels!

There’s more I could tell, but there were only 11 points  ;) If you are curious about anything, let me know and I’ll answer you in the next post!

*Not everything about me is my sexuality, but I think growing up gay in a place where there aren’t that many other people like you makes it hard to find people to relate to. I would escape into those stories and even write some myself. Being a lesbian is a HUGE part of me, but it’s not the only part :)

How to tell you have a newborn in the house

D and I have been joking about how having our new kitty Maya feels like we have a newborn baby. She keeps me up most of the night, she’s a pain in the butt sometimes, she makes a mess, and we are so wrapped up in her that we feel like we have barely seen each other the last few days, but she is so incredibly cute it all makes up for it.We’ve also been really worried about leaving her today. Big D is home on and off, but it’s the first day since we got her that there won’t be someone in the house with her for a few hours.

Big D is great with her and was playing with her this morning. After his class, he came to see me, and after the following email exchange occurred between D and I:

From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, February 19, 2014 11:00 AM
To: D
Subject: The Cub

The Cub just stopped by to show me some pictures of our baby getting into some mischief in the bathroom this morning – getting into the toothpaste drawer and then under the sink, and then on top of the toilet. She is so cute! She also tried to help him with his homework and sat on his keyboard! So he had to get her out of his room and he also shut the bathroom door. He said she hasn’t been crying, so that’s good!

Miss you lots and can’t wait to see you tonight!!!!!!

Kisses and hugs,

Your beautiful, sexy, irresistible wife ;)

From: D
Sent: Wednesday, February 19, 2014 11:03 AM
To: Me
Subject: RE: The Cub

 Oh funny!!!!! She is too damn cute and I was just thinking about her.

From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, February 19, 2014 11:50 AM
To: D
Subject: The Cub

How to tell you have a newborn in the house: Your wife responds to your email remarking about the cuteness of the newborn, and completely misses the fact that you signed off like this: “Kisses and hugs, Your beautiful, sexy, irresistible wife ;)”


From: D
Sent: Wednesday, February 19, 2014 12:19 PM
To: Me
Subject: RE: The Cub

LOL! Now that is funny. Oh how I do love you my sweet wife.

And now, more cuteness, as I cannot get enough of this little furball:

You didn't want this water, right mom?

You didn’t want this water, right mom?



Monkey love

Monkey love

The Good, the Bad and the Cute

So much has been going on lately in the lesbian next door house! Some good, some bad.

First, the bad. My 89 year old grandmother was in the hospital a few weeks ago for a bowel obstruction. She wasn’t eating for a few days. They got it to clear up (thank goodness!) without surgery. She was also having shortness of breath, so the doctor did an x-ray and her lungs were pure white. That is not good. They did some tests, drained 2 liters of fluid from her chest, and put in a permanent chest tube to keep draining it.

She was in the hospital for a week, and the tests came back: she has stage 4 lung cancer. This was a huge shock to the whole family because she was never a heavy smoker, and hasn’t smoked in over 30 years. The doctor placed her on hospice and said she doesn’t have much longer to live. They will not be doing chemo due to her age and the fact she doesn’t want it. She has lost so much weight.

You may remember that my parents moved to North Carolina a year and a half ago and took her with them. You may also remember that I have severe travel anxiety. I have never been there to see them and will most likely never go. Thank goodness for Skype!! I had never Skyped before, but now we do it once a week so I can talk to Gram and see her. She was so cute the first time we did it! She kept telling me she was getting my nose, like you do with a little kid ;) She also asked us several times if we were in our garage or our driveway because of the way the outline of the kitchen behind us looked. It was hysterical! Seeing her has been so great. She seems much more alert and conscious of everything (she has Alzheimer’s). D walked out of the frame for a minute and Gram said, “Where did D go?!” It’s so great that she still remembers who we are. I love her so much and I am so sad she is near the end. She’s still hanging in there right now, and for that I am grateful. She has lived a very long life. I can only hope to live to be that old.

They were supposed to visit last week, but obviously she can’t travel. If she gets a bit better, they may bring her up, but that’s a reeeeallllyyy loooonnnggg trip for a healthy person, let alone a sick one!

Switching gears quickly to the really good news, this is the newest member of our little family:

Our new baby

Our new baby

This is Maya. She is 10 weeks old and she is the newest love of our lives. She looks huge in this pic, but she is very tiny in real life!

Exactly 10 years ago on Friday (Valentines Day), D and Big D adopted our kitty Princess who we had to very sadly put down in January. Since then, we have been on the fence about when we would get a new one. She was the light of our lives and it was devastating to have to let her go. Since January 10th, there has been a Princess-sized hole in our hearts.

We’d been checking the Humane Society website for a week or two, and every time there was a kitten, it would be gone by the time we asked about it. We resigned ourselves to have to get an older cat, but we really wanted a baby. D went in to look at the older cat we were interested in on Saturday, but in person she wasn’t quite feeling it. Just then, a lady came in with her daughter and the older cat’s 5 kittens! It was fate! Maya was the only female of the bunch, and I am so glad D got there when she did because while she was deciding, another person called on the phone looking for a female kitten. D quickly jumped on the chance to get Maya, and texted me that she made a decision and that I should go get food. So I wrote back “Kitten food? Wet or dry?” (I told her I wanted to be surprised, but was sure we wouldn’t be able to get a baby.) She wrote back “Kitten. And both.” OMG!! I was so excited!! I ran to the store, got the food and litter and everything else she needed and set it all up. When they got home a half hour later, I was in kitty heaven and have been for two days! Of course we didn’t sleep much the first night, as she likes to sleep ON MY FACE ;), but we tired her out before bed last night and it went MUCH smoother! I loved waking up to her tiny body next to me this morning.

So many things make me think she was always meant to be ours:

  • D was originally going to go Friday night, but we had a HUGE 18 inch snowstorm Thursday into Friday, so she waited until Saturday. As I said above, Maya wasn’t there until Saturday, so if she went Friday, she would have missed her!
  • She is all black, but you can see tiger stripes on her. Our last kitty had tiger stripes too!
  • She came into our lives on almost the same day our last kitty did.
  • Big D was mad when we told him we were getting another one, but as soon as he saw her, he was in kitty heaven too, and loves her to bits!
  • They said she was timid and hates to be held, but oh man were they wrong! She is so social with us, purrs up a storm, and LOVES to be held!

I am so in love with this kitty! I have been missing her like crazy today at work, and can’t wait to go home and see her ;)


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